One In Ten

"I am the one in ten, a number on a list.
I am the one in ten, even though I don't exist.
Nobody knows it, but I'm always there,
a statistical reminder of a world that doesn't care."
- "One In Ten," UB40

"a total of 90 percent of women, almost all of them, will have one partner or more during their lives, and some many, many more." - Diane Johnson in the NYRB

Is it only me? Is this not a painful statistic? Doesn't it imply that one in ten U.S. women will never have a partner in their lives? One in ten! So casually dismissed in the phrase 'almost all of them,' surely a misunderstanding? I would like to just dismiss this as the vicissitudes of stupid stats; it must be that. It must be something to do with mortality rates, voluntary celibacy (nuns!), emigration, lying to survey-takers, and so on. But now I can't stop thinking, how many? How many people go through their entire lives without that kind of love?

Update: later in the article she writes, "Gottlieb’s underlying assumption is that every girl wants to get married; and the statistic that 90 percent of American women do get married at some point—a higher percentage than in any other country—supports this." So by partner she meant husband (or wife)? I guess that makes me feel better.

Update II: A different perspective, from the Christian mag Relevant: "But I know couples in loving relationships who remain lonely. Why? After all, they've found a perfect mate who has taken great strides toward fulfilling their need for intimacy. But that's a heavy load for one person to bear, despite the stories Cameron Crowe tells. Lonely single people become lonely married people. If your goal in marriage is to satisfy your need to belong, your next stop may be heartbreak."